463+ Shitty Pick-Up Lines That Are So Bad, They’re Hilarious

Last updated: September 2, 2025 at 7:47 am by Michael Smith

Everyone has heard a few shitty pick up lines in their lifetime. Some of these are the worst pick up lines, others are just plain bad pick up lines, and a few fall into the category of really bad pick up lines that make you laugh out loud.

While many people call them terrible pick up lines, poor pick up lines, or even awful pick up lines, they still keep showing up in conversations, dating apps, and even on shitty pick up lines reddit threads.

This guide gives you the ultimate shitty pick up lines list, featuring the top worst pick up lines, funny shitty pick up lines, dirty shitty pick up lines, and even some cheesy shitty pick up lines that people still try to use.

Cringe-Inducing Classics

• Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you—in Comic Sans.
• I must be a booger because I’m stuck on you in the worst way.
• Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling disconnected.
• You must be tired because you’ve been running through my nightmares.
• Are you a microwave? Because you’re making everything around you awkwardly hot.
• I’d say God bless you, but it looks like He already cursed you.
• If beauty were time, you’d be… late.
• Are you a magician? Because whenever you show up, things get weirder.
• I must be in a horror film because I just saw an angel with red flags.
• Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout… from the wrong match.
• Are you cake? Because I want a slice but regret it instantly.
• You must be a mirror because I see my mistakes in you.
• Can you hold my hand? I’m scared of your vibe.
• Are you a dictionary? Because you’re spelling disaster.
• My love for you is like diarrhea—uncontrollable and deeply concerning.
• If we were on a deserted island, I’d still swipe left.
• I’d ask for your number, but I respect my dignity too much.
• Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te… and toxic.
• I brought a ladder because I heard your standards are in the basement.
• You must be gravity because everything’s going downhill.

Best Pick:

My love for you is like diarrhea—uncontrollable and deeply concerning.

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Top Worst Pick Up Lines of All Time

These are considered the top worst pick up lines ever shared. Whether you call them horrible pick up lines or just bad chat up lines, they’re unforgettable in the cringiest way possible.

• Are you a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
• You must be a parking ticket, because you’ve got “fine” written all over you.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past again?
• Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
• Are you Wi-Fi? Because I feel a weak connection.
• If beauty were a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.
• You must be a magician—because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.
• You must be a keyboard—because you’re just my type.
• Do you like raisins? How about a date?
• Are you a snowstorm? Because you just froze my heart.
• You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
• Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
• You must be an angel, because heaven is missing one.
• Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout.
• I lost my phone number—can I borrow yours?
• Are you a time traveler? Because I can see you in my future.
• You must be a lightbulb, because you brighten up every room.
• Are you coffee? Because you keep me awake at night.
• You must be gravity, because you’re pulling me in.

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Flirting Fails to Remember

• Are you French? Because Eiffel for you… and broke my nose.
• If looks could kill, yours would cause a minor inconvenience.
• Are you a cat? Because I’m feline awkward now.
• You smell like trouble and expired cheese.
• Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like the landing hurt.
• I lost my number, can I have yours—and maybe lose it again?
• You must be a loan because you have high interest and bad returns.
• I think I forgot your name—on purpose.
• Are you a cloud? Because you just ruined my sunny day.
• You’re like a broken pencil—pointless but oddly present.
• I’d say you’re hot, but I’m trying to keep it PG-13.
• Are you a dentist? Because this is painful.
• Your aura screams tax season.
• I’d rate you a solid 10—on the cringe scale.
• You remind me of my favorite song: skipped every time.
• Are you soap? Because I can’t get a grip on this mess.
• I must be colorblind because everything about you is red flags.
• You light up my life like a fire I can’t control.
• If awkward were a person, it’d be me right now.
• I’d write a song for you—if I wanted the audience to boo.

Best Pick:

You must be a loan because you have high interest and bad returns.

Funny Shitty Pick Up Lines That Still Make People Laugh

These funny shitty pick up lines prove that sometimes a bad joke is better than a serious compliment. Even if they count as awful pick up lines or crappy pick up lines, they can break the ice with humor.

• Are you Australian? Because when I look at you, I feel down under.
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
• Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.
• Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me.
• Are you a charger? Because without you, I’d die.
• You must be glue—because I’m stuck on you.
• Are you a volcano? Because I lava you.
• You must be a dictionary—because you add meaning to my life.
• Are you an electrician? Because you light up my world.
• You must be a broom—because you swept me off my feet.
• Are you pizza? Because I want a slice of you.
• You must be Cinderella—because your beauty stops time.
• Are you a cat? Because I’m feline a connection.
• Do you like math? Because you complete my equation.
• You must be chocolate—because you make life sweeter.
• Are you a magician? Because you just made my worries disappear.
• You must be Wi-Fi—because I can’t stop connecting with you.
• Are you sunshine? Because you brighten my darkest days.
• You must be a joke—because you made me laugh instantly.
• Are you a cloud? Because you just made my day brighter.

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Misguided Compliments and Awkward Ice Breakers

• You’re so unique… like a one-star review.
• Are you an elevator? Because you’re letting me down.
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a “cabbage patch disaster.”
• I must be blind because I saw a future with you.
• Are you cereal? Because you just ruined my breakfast.
• You make my heart skip—like a scratched CD.
• I’d walk a thousand miles for you, and immediately regret it.
• You’ve got that “left on read” energy.
• You shine like a broken flashlight.
• I like your style—of running from commitment.
• Are you summer? Because you make me sweat in confusion.
• You must be a ghost because my friends say you don’t exist.
• Our love story would be called “Regret: The Sequel.”
• You make me feel things—mostly concerned.
• I tried writing a poem about you, but I ran out of metaphors.
• Are you Netflix? Because I can’t commit for long.
• You sound like my alarm—annoying and hard to ignore.
• Are you a campfire? Because you’re smokin’… but I’m coughing.
• I’d say you complete me, but I wasn’t broken.
• You must be a door hinge because you’re making this conversation creak.

Best Pick:

You make my heart skip—like a scratched.

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Offbeat and Outlandishly Bad

• Are you glue? Because you’re making this situation sticky.
• Your face makes my day… worse.
• I’d share my umbrella, but only if it’s raining regrets.
• Are you chicken? Because you’ve got no game.
• You make my stomach flip—like bad sushi.
• You’re a real snack—left open and stale.
• You must be a meme—funny at first, annoying later.
• I’d take you out… to the dumpster fire of my love life.
• You remind me of math—complex and unnecessary.
• Are you winter? Because I want to stay inside.
• You’re like my ex’s playlist—full of bad choices.
• If you were a Wi-Fi signal, I’d go offline.
• I’d ghost you, but I respect haunted houses too much.
• You sparkle like glitter—unwanted and impossible to remove.
• Are you a fire alarm? Because you’re making my ears hurt.
• Our chemistry is like expired milk—sour and regrettable.
• You walk like you know what shame feels like.
• Are you a printer? Because you’re jamming up my thoughts.
• You’ve got a vibe—like someone who still uses Yahoo.
• I see potential… in running away.

Best Pick:

You sparkle like glitter—unwanted and impossible to remove.Web.com

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Disaster-Class Charmers

• Are you caffeine? Because you’re giving me anxiety.
• You bring out the worst pickup lines in me.
• Are you an app update? Because I didn’t ask for this.
• You must be a banana peel—slippery and dangerous.
• Talking to you feels like stepping on LEGO.
• Your laugh is contagious… like a virus.
• You smell like missed opportunities and dry shampoo.
• If you were a sandwich, you’d be crust only.
• You’re as comforting as a cold toilet seat.
• Are you thunder? Because you’re loud and unsettling.
• You’re like Monday—no one’s favorite.
• You’ve got the energy of a group project with no leader.
• Our connection is as stable as dial-up.
• You’ve got sauce… but it’s expired.
• I thought I was awkward, then I met you.
• If I were to chase you, I’d trip on regret.
• You’re like an ad before the video—unwanted and long.
• I’d fall for you, but gravity has more charm.
• You’re like a snowstorm—chaotic with no warmth.
• You make silence seem like a blessing.

Best Pick:

Talking to you feels like stepping on LEGO.

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Cheesy Lines That Melt Your Confidence

• Are you nachos? Because you’re cheesy and crumbling.
• You must be pizza—greasy and a little too much.
• I’m lactose intolerant, and this is too cheesy.
• You’re like fondue—sticky and questionable.
• Are you a cheese puff? Because you leave a mess everywhere.
• You bring flavor—mostly salt.
• You’ve got more cheese than a discount pizza joint.
• If you were a sandwich, you’d be missing the bread.
• Are you a dairy product? Because you spoil quickly.
• I’m not saying you’re cheesy, but cows are jealous.
• You’re melting my will to flirt.
• You bring the cheddar—and the cringe.
• This line was sponsored by poor decisions.
• You’re like mac and cheese without the charm.
• I’d dip you in ranch and reconsider.
• Are you a grilled cheese? Because this is burning.
• You’ve got the consistency of overcooked pasta.
• Are you Velveeta? Because you’re not even real cheese.
• I buttered you up, and now I regret it.
• You’re the cracker to my emotional breakdown.

Best Pick:

Are you Velveeta? Because you’re not even real cheese.

Dirty, Cheesy, and Crappy Pick Up Lines

Here come the dirty shitty pick up lines, the cheesy shitty pick up lines, and some of the most crappy pick up lines people dare to use on dating apps. These are so over-the-top that they’re more funny than flirty.

• Are you a drill? Because you’re driving me crazy.
• You must be chocolate cake—because you’re sinfully sweet.
• Are you oxygen? Because I can’t live without you.
• You must be rain—because you make everything bloom.
• Are you a pencil? Because you complete my story.
• You must be a star—because you light up the night.
• Are you an exam? Because I can’t stop studying you.
• You must be the ocean—because I’m lost in your waves.
• Are you caffeine? Because you keep me awake all night.
• You must be music—because you’re stuck in my head.
• Are you chocolate? Because I crave you every day.
• You must be fire—because you’re too hot to handle.
• Are you destiny? Because I was meant to meet you.
• You must be honey—because you make life sweeter.
• Are you a lock? Because you’ve got the key to my heart.
• You must be sunshine—because you warm up my soul.
• Are you lightning? Because you just shocked my heart.
• You must be heaven—because being with you feels divine.
• Are you the moon? Because you make the night beautiful.
• You must be a poem—because you rhyme perfectly with my life.

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One-Liners with Maximum Awkward Impact

• I’d say hi, but I’ve already embarrassed myself.
• Are you a sneeze? Because you’re unexpected and uncomfortable.
• You walked into my heart… and knocked over everything.
• I brought flowers, but they ran away.
• Our future looks like static TV.
• You remind me of my GPA—below average.
• My heart races, probably from anxiety.
• I was going to say something smooth, but I tripped.
• You’ve got “do not disturb” written all over you.
• I brought a map to get lost in your confusion.
• I’d buy you a drink, but I forgot my wallet and pride.
• Are you a glitch? Because you’re breaking my rhythm.
• You’re like a notification I didn’t need.
• I’d compliment you, but I’m saving my best for later.
• You’ve got mystery—like an unsolved crime.
• I’d flirt harder, but I value your boundaries.
• This line is bad, but so is my decision-making.
• You’ve got the aura of a mid-season finale.
• I’m a fan of awkward, clearly.
• If vibes were currency, I’d be bankrupt.

Best Pick:

Are you a glitch? Because you’re breaking my rhythm.

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Weirdly Wonderful and Wildly Awful

• Are you 404? Because I can’t find the point of this.
• Your aura says “approach with caution.”
• I’d toast to you, but even bread wouldn’t.
• You’re like an art piece—confusing and overpriced.
• This isn’t love; it’s a software error.
• Are you late-night thoughts? Because I regret this.
• You sparkle—like broken glass.
• I followed my heart, and it got lost here.
• You give me butterflies—dead ones.
• You sound like a rerun of bad decisions.

Best Pick:

You sparkle—like broken glass.

Do Shitty Pick Up Lines Actually Work?

The eternal debate: do shitty pick up lines work? While most of these horrible pick up lines and terrible chat up lines won’t get you a date, they’re fantastic icebreakers. That’s why people still share them on Tinder shitty pick up lines threads and laugh about them in shitty pick up lines reddit discussions. At the end of the day, even poor pick up lines can create fun conversations.

Here are a few more lines that show how humor can win over smoothness:

• Are you rain? Because you refresh my soul.
• You must be chocolate—because I can’t resist you.
• Are you my phone? Because I can’t stop checking on you.
• You must be music—because you play on repeat in my heart.
• Are you a mirror? Because I see myself with you.
• You must be a chef—because you spiced up my life.
• Are you a candle? Because you light up my darkest nights.
• You must be a poet—because you just wrote yourself into my story.
• Are you a secret? Because I can’t keep you.
• You must be destiny—because this feels meant to be.
• Are you gravity? Because you make me fall every time.
• You must be rainbows—because you brighten my storms.
• Are you a clock? Because every moment with you is golden.
• You must be wine—because you get better with time.
• Are you the sun? Because you make everything brighter.
• You must be my reason—because you give life meaning.
• Are you magic? Because everything changes when you’re near.
• You must be hope—because you keep me going.
• Are you a flame? Because you set my soul on fire.
• You must be love—because you make everything complete.

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Conclusion:

From bad pick up lines to terrible chat up lines and the 100 worst pick up lines, it’s clear that the charm of these phrases doesn’t come from smooth delivery—it comes from humor. So, why do people use shitty pick up lines? Because they’re funny, memorable, and often the best way to start a conversation. Whether you’re scrolling through a shitty pick up lines list, laughing at funny shitty pick up lines, or cringing at cheesy shitty pick up lines for dating apps, remember—sometimes the worst lines make the best moments.